So my main problem is that every time we make a decision and she disagrees, either she ignores us and does what she wants, or she`s going to have a tantrum that makes a 3-year-old blush. And it will become vindictive of my husband and my FIL. Now, everyone avoids making her angry and disagreeing with her. Which goes against everything in me. I hate to quit when someone hurts someone else. Even if you calmly tell her she`s wrong, she`ll still leave. How do you deal with someone like that? Without doing more harm than good. I don`t want to be the DIL who lets my husband vote and causes him grief. But it becomes very difficult to hold back. Even if my husband defends himself as much as possible without aggravating the situation. We are in the same boat.
And what really catches me is that these crises are never resolved. Ugly fights are swept under the rug, ignored and claimed never took place. When I tell him forgive, I don`t mean you do your nails together and go shopping for clothes – I mean, forgive him all the misdeeds and keep going. Stop dwelling on the past. Just because you forgive her for hurting you doesn`t mean she has to be a part of your life. By forgiving him, you can avoid quarrels with your spouse and give you the peace of mind that you have done your part. Forgiveness can be a difficult path and it is something that requires a lot of thought and reflection. If your mother-in-law`s forgiveness for the things she did can help your marriage, it`s worth a try.
I have been married for 17 years and I also have a toxic NDE with all 14 characteristics. She has always poisoned my husband against me and my parents since I got married. The result is that there is no more joy in our married life, we live a lifeless life My husband never stood up for me and is always on his mother`s side, even if she is wrong. She is very intrusive in our marriage and finds flaws with my household skills as well as my parents (whose house I left when I was married) she and her husband abuse my father.even today because they have more money.she poisons my school, sons against me I get a lot of comfort and relief when I read such articles, that I am not alone, I suffer in this world thanks to a lot of stress stress not too much that your mother-in-law does not love you. Instead, focus on making you and your family happy. Keep minimal contact with your mother-in-law, but don`t prevent your family from having a good relationship with her. She may be better for them, so don`t sabotage her relationship with her. My article was edited by the site administrators, so I didn`t even write the part you`re referring to. In fact, I came to the same conclusion after years of treatment with my MIL. I ignore them whenever I can, and sometimes I try to find humor in them. I`m also trying to find *material* for my blog (Toxic Ties dot com) and it also helps a lot!!! Just think of it as a material.
The worse it is, the better LOL`s contribution will be. However, this is the path of the mother bear: completely obnoxious in many ways and difficult to describe for anyone who has not crossed it. But you need to keep in mind that your mother-in-law is also a mother bear. And from my observations, there`s something about grandchildren that a grandmother is putting back into mother-bear mode for the first time in several decades – which is unfortunate because it means you`re both in mother-bear mode at the same time. It`s hard for a person to realize that their mother has no interest in their happiness, especially when she`s so proud of the life she`s built with you. By allowing her to deal with and mourn the absence of an emotionally present and loving mother, it gives you the opportunity to connect and understand. Assessing the role she needs or doesn`t need to have in your life together can be therapeutic. Unfortunately, I`m still struggling with depression right now. An important reason that puts me in such a state is that my mother wants the whole family to be close, but with these manipulation strategies, my wife and I feel like it`s hard for us to be close. We did our best to make her happy, but often she couldn`t appreciate it – especially my wife`s efforts.
We got married to have a happy life, and of course, I want to have a more normal and healthy family life, and so does my wife, but I think it`s pretty much too difficult to deal with right now. Anyway, you have the right idea! Laugh and ignore. Nothing makes them angry more than not having the power to influence you. This series of “14 Signs You Have a Toxic Mother-in-Law” shows if the relationship with a toxic mother-in-law can change for the better after giving to her grandchildren. My mother-in-law lives with us. If I ever show the slightest emotion, she will literally fly off the wall and scold and exclaim that I am the reason for all her problems. It`s been 6 years and this piece of is constantly throwing me under the bridge in Momments. If I ever kept arguing “holy,” the she does would be weird if I were more zen. She makes her whole arm up to the forehead and falls !!! It would be funny, but my partner always seems to fall into her. If I were a rich man, I would drive her out immediately, but that`s not the case.
Question: What does it look like the other way around? My mother never really liked my choice of man, and she never thought he was good enough for me; Constantly pointing out his past and present mistakes. He hates going to her to fix things because he feels like he can never do things right. At first, my decision to cut my mother-in-law caused tension between my husband and me. He was willing to apologize again for her behavior because she is his mother and “that`s how she is.” To resolve the situation, we visited a marriage counselor a few times who kindly told my husband that the model had to be broken. He followed the counselor`s advice, resigned, and placed the burden on his mother to improve their relationship. Unfortunately, this did not meet his expectations. It took a lot of courage and I was so at peace when I stopped my former mother-in-law at my mother-in-law`s house. The affair with his mother is a problem that probably existed long before he entered the scene. Let them find out. I know that you are probably contradictory about the situation and that you even feel guilty or responsible. Not to tell you how to feel, but – Don`t do it! It is not up to you; It`s not your fault.
Not even your fiancé`s. Issuing an ultimatum is one of the oldest book manipulation tricks designed to force someone to comply. Her fiancé opposes her mother and refuses to be manipulated. I just want to thank you for this article. That`s what I`m going through right now. My mother is the monster mother-in-law, and point by point, that`s exactly what my wife is going through. She, like you, has a grandmother who is a great mother-in-law to me. I feel bad that my wife is not going through the same experience, but I have accepted that there is nothing I can do but support my wife and help her keep her distance.
Finally, I find great comfort in the fact that my own mother is a kind, caring, generous woman who is a wonderful mother-in-law for my husband. This makes my monster-in-law a bit bearable and sometimes even fun. Dealing with all the negative things your mother-in-law says and does is not a way to live your life. At some point, their motivations, actions, and feelings should take a back seat so you can focus on yourself and your relationship instead. Losing your mother is a pain like no other. There are ways to make life easier to endure pain while honoring your dear mother. In many families, the mother-in-law is jokingly called “monster-in-law.” But the burden that the in-laws can impose on a couple is not a ridiculous matter. In fact, it can ultimately destroy a relationship. According to parent Netmoms, one in four daughter-in-law (DIL) despises her mother-in-law (MIL) and finds her “controlling”. Your child gets sick and accuses you of being an irresponsible parent. Your spouse has a small accident and she accuses you of not taking good care of her.
According to your mother-in-law, everything that`s wrong with your family is because of you. It doesn`t matter if you haven`t been remotely connected to an unpleasant incident. If she blames you and makes you feel guilty, whether it`s your fault or not, it`s obvious that you`ll feel bitter about her. Yes, I had a mother-in-law who was very controlling and disrespectful to me, and she beat me and threw my children in the air for divorce and tried to poison me every time I got pregnant. However, she was also in black art, where she hurt me several times, even the moment she beat my ex-husband, and he did. Later in my years, I found out that she was right after the money because my ex-husband wanted her to find a job without knowing that he couldn`t give me money to buy diapers because he told me to ask his mother to do it. Also, it turned out that he was so scared of her that he collapsed and cried because she had controlled him so much (he was 30 years old) that he couldn`t tell me why. I went to her house to find out what had happened, only to find out that she wanted me to divorce to leave him because she knew he was her sauce train.
It was me or her and I ended up divorcing my ex-husband because he sided with her and took the children and she raised them and tried to prove that I was an unfit mother. Not to mention that he pointed his gun at me as a threat. Calmly but sternly, I said, “That`s not true. You`re the grandmother, and you should be there. She went from zero to 100 in record time and started screaming, making accusations and insulting me, all in front of our children – and my husband. He stepped on gas for the first time and stood up to it. In response, she sent him a flood of texts accusing me of giving her names and hurling insults.